Does that make sense?  I actually don’t have many old friends.  I don’t mean old to do with age as I have friends that are older than me, but I haven’t carried with me the friends I grew up with nor the friends I hung out with in school.   That’s not entirely true as I have one friend, and then dh, but that’s it, that is the entire spectrum of people that have known me for the longest, besides my family.

I have one ‘friend’ that I grew up with that is much more like an acquaintance now, but I know who her first was, kwim?  I know much more intimate details about her life than say the women I am good friends with now.  We do a once a year call, always initiated by her and we talk for a good chunk of time, but it never happens from my end that I relinquish any true details of my life now.

Let me explain.

I don’t mean I lie to her, not that kind of truth, but the depth of our conversation is much the same as I would have with a person I’ve just met; how are you, and the kids, and what does your husband do now and does your alcoholic mil still punch out guys in the bar?  You know, the common ones.

I don’t know if either of us are truly clinging to the relationship.  I’m sure I’ve posted about her before but hell if I can find it.  She’s the kind of friend that makes each conversation unexpected.  One minute she’ll be telling me all bad news, including that my ex-bf (her current dh) cheated on me 7 times (and I’m sure one of those times was with her), and the next minute she’ll be telling me she’s pregnant with a little girl and all is well in her life.  I used to find our conversations so draining, she’s very focused on the past and how bad her life is now.

Friday, I talked to her for ½ an hour.  A normal length of conversation with us for the one time a year we talk.  But there’s often a lot of surprises when you don’t really talk for a year, or if you don’t really know a person.  She learned we are now homeschooling and I want 6 kids.

When I was a teenager I really hated kids, but I was a babysitter and had seen all kinds.  I even had one kid bend over and sniff my crotch while I was sitting, so I had no intentions of having any of the little buggers.

Then of course, I changed, as most persons do, but my ‘friend’ is so utterly surprised at this.  It’s almost as if because she lives so far in the past that she can’t keep up the changes that surround her.

I can’t say she hasn’t changed, she has 4 kids, 1 dh and I talk to her a mere once a year.  You can get a tiny glimpse of people’s lives while talking to them on the phone, but not a true sense of anything really.

I’ll just wait for next year’s phone call and find out what’s new.