Actually I feel like downloading that song, but I’ve been hesitant because I’ve been feeling ever so guilty about it.  I buy music from Allofmp3, which means the artist don’t get jack squat for it, but some Russian computer geek group does.  Yeah, I know, I’ll be done soon enough, I’ve still got my last $3 to spend in my ‘account’, but it’ll be hard to resume paying $1/song when I’ve always paid about 20¢/song.  Being Canadian I can’t download from American sites that are legitimate and less costly than up here.  I’m also miffed that politicians are attempting to push through legislature to make it illegal for me to copy legitimately purchased music/video from my pc to another media format, i.e. a cd to play in my truck, or on my mp3 player.

Crikey, I’m babbling.  Avoiding going to bed for some reason I’m unaware of.  Better make a ‘lesson plan’ type thing and then head off or I’ll sleep in again and miss my Pilates in the morning.  Just one more message.

Happy Birthday Pam!  Well, technically it’s tomorrow according to my time, but when visiting your blog a teeny window popped up that said Happy Birthday, so I’ll squeeze it in tonight while I’m here .

Hell if I know. I’m confused.  I have a lot of thoughts swirling through my brain, I have a few things to talk about yet I don’t have any inclination to post a new blog.  Yeah, I get it, your question is the same as my own, so what the hell am I doing right now?  Forcing myself to post of course.

It’s kind of weird how I’ve been lately, in fact it’s been so out of sorts, that I don’t know what to call it, is this happiness?  I don’t know.  I’ve not had one bout of depression in a while, and it’s been super nice, but super weird. I don’t feel wired (which is kind of a good thing), in fact I’ve been quite tired lately.  I’ve been doing Pilates quite regularly, about 5X a week so far, and I’ve felt really good from it (it’s Winsor if you must know, I don’t mind advertising for her ).  I haven’t switched from the Buns and Thighs video yet because I’m still so uncoordinated and unflexible that I cannot do any of her other videos besides the circle one.  But it’s been helping my posture and of course the size of my … anyway.

I also find it strange that I didn’t shout it to the mountain tops that my Grampa finally got into a good nursing home.  I wrote before how sickened I was that he could be so utterly neglected in the one ‘home’, a term I use loosely for the hole he was in.  Let me explain how different it is in this new wonderful place he’s been in for 3 weeks now.

• Walking into the front doors there is no smell, no lingering odor of either urine or death in the air.
• The amount of light is amazingly different as ever inch of space on the walls are windowed.
• The first elderly person I saw was scootching her way to an exercise class, albeit feebly but she was damn well doing it herself, and she smiled…. she SMILED at us!
• I did not see another elderly person until I spotted a sitting area where they were chatty, even amongst those that could not chat (severely disabled).
• Each ward/wing (there’s 4) has at least 4 RNs, FOUR and they aren’t just pill pushers, they actually talk to the residents and interacts with them, and they actually take their blood pressure and everything!LOL!
• We could walk 4 across through the hallways, and both girls commented on how the halls were bigger.  In fact they were not any wider, or not much anyway, but there was no residents lining the walls nor cart after cart after cart of soiled linens, as in a huge fire hazard (and breaking code btw) like in the hellhole.
• Just wait, I haven’t even reached his room yet!
• Walking down the hall we were greeted by not one, but two different people asking if we needed help finding someone.  And guess what, they knew exactly who it was I was looking for and where he was.  BTW, this was the day after he moved in.  Amazing people.
• His room is 3X the size and he has a lovely quiet roommate.  In fact there is so much room now that Gramma actually had to purchase a chair for him to sit in if he wanted to (I’ll get into how he can do that in a bit).
• Passing his room we arrived at the end of the one wing to a small’ish sunroom area, a room completely lined with windows.  At various places are beautiful flowers and plants kept up by the staff (the residents actually kill the plants because they forget that they’ve already watered it), as well as a door to go outside to the beautiful grounds.
• The grounds completely surround the place (which is also fenced) and it overlooks a river valley in the middle of the city, a beautiful view.  A cool contraption they have for wanderers is each of them wear a special bracelet that actually locks the doors if they attempt to go near them to leave.
• Grampa is actually thriving there, and he’s been participating in daily activities in the mornings, like beach ball (tossing a ball around – which they love), and even sing-alongs.
• His bed is changed immediately upon rising, or shortly thereafter.  There’s only been once where it wasn’t and it was a Saturday, so it’s often longer on the weekends I guess, but still not near lunch, unlike the last hellhole which left a wet bed until well AFTER his nap time.
• He isn’t locked into the wheelchair (but it does have an alarm).  Imagine this; dementia, emphysema, and total blindness.  You’re weak because of the emphysema, but you need to get up for something, forget what you got up for, forget why you can’t see and forget that you shouldn’t stand up because of your weakness and blindness and oops, you’ve fallen.  But, they still are a ‘restraint free’ place, but he does have a tray if he wants it, which he enjoys.
• He is encouraged to stand if he wants to, hence the ‘no restraint’ thing, can’t stand up if he’s belted in.  Also him standing during the day helps strengthen his muscles to help him stand better.
• This sweet place set up a dining area for him and Gramma for lunch everyday … isn’t that super sweet?

I am just so shocked at the differences between the hellhole and heaven on earth.  I want to move in there .

What else, what else … The girls are starting to bicker more and I think it’s because we need to put them into something.  We go swimming once a week, but I’m not sure it’s enough.

Ah, I’m getting tired of typing.  Signing off.

I loathe the phone as it is, but yesterday was enough to throw me over the edge.  I’ve finally decided I don’t need to talk to anyone that freakin’ badly during the day that I need to listen to the incessant interruptions and disturbances in our day, so I turned off the ringer.

Yesterday was great otherwise, but Sweet Pea was slightly miserable because he was so bloody tired.  He’s been getting some new teeth, and they are brutal on his system and often wake him up in the night.  He’d had a terrible night and was up at 5:30 with a huge amount of poo around, on, and in crevices of his body.  Tis not a pretty sight, thankfully I slept through it all and dh, being super helpful lately, got him up, cleaned up everything and showered with the little schnookums.

The poor beast was tired and by 9:00 am he was ready for a nap, so I laid him down.  At 10, someone phoned (probably dh) and woke him up, but luckily since he was still pretty exhausted he fell back asleep (a serious oddity for him).  Then throughout the day the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.  It wasn’t just dh (who often phones a lot during the day), but my mom, or telemarketers (who swear they aren’t selling anything … yeah, right), or other crap I don’t know.  But dh phoned again just after 3 and woke him up again, and I just about lost it on him.  And he’s not phoning to tell me stuff important, stuff that couldn’t wait, but he had a bored moment and decided to phone.  Why does he need to tell me that he can’t get the trailer into the shop until Nov. 5th at 3 in the afternoon?  Why couldn’t that wait?  So needless to say, Sweet Pea was beat by 7pm when he normally goes to bed.

So I made a decision.  During the day, my phone will be absolutely turned off and no calls will disturb our work or his sleep anymore.  Of course I had this great resolve to do this, but immediately forgot about it upon closing my eyes and the phone rang at 9:30 this morning.  My mom apologized profusely for disturbing but had to tell me about her internet problems and that she got the email … yeah, I know, she had to tell me right then.  Oy.  So, the second I got off the phone I turned off the ringer and wouldn’t you know it, during the break I checked and there was a message already. That was a mere 45 minutes ago I turned it off, and already there was a call.  Granted it was the only one I was actually waiting for, but the information was left in the message so I won’t be disturbed again by a second call.

I still hate the phone.  Want to know what’s so weird?  I don’t have a plethora of people vying for attention from me, except for my kids, and I don’t have that many friends. I don’t have such a glamorous life that people constantly want to speak with me, so I don’t get why my phone rings so constantly.  Oh, and no, I’m not married to someone famous either, so he’s not so popular neither.  And why-the-heck is telemarketing even legal? *snort*  I won’t ever buy anything over the phone, but I guess it must be a viable way to make business as no one has gone out of business doing it.

I am not distracted today … well, not really anyway .