Mexico, here we come

And by ‘we’, I mean all 5 of us.

Dh gave me a call at home at about 3pm to let me know how things went at the passport office.  He left his house this morning with a barrage of paperwork in the hopes that he had everything that they would need in order to issue one.  He arrived with only a 45 minute wait (record time for around here, the one time the wait was 3 hours), and was in front of an agent for a mere 15 minutes explaining everything.  It only took a few tries to get it straight that I am the mother, not his birth mom.  The agent meant well, and was just doing her job, but she was a bit confused at some point.  Then dh brought out all that paperwork.  I mean every bit of it.

• birth certificate
• passport photos
• passport application
• PGO -guardianship order
• Designation letter from the government saying we had any rights to the child, etc.
• Letter from the CPS Director

And to travel, we will have all of those, plus one more letter, and I’m bringing his Catholic baptismal certificate just hoping that a majority Catholic country will just take one look at that piece of work and just wave us on through as my dad thinks (*shakes head*).

So, according to the agent, all the paperwork is okay and we will receive a call if anything else is needed, or if there is a problem.  No news is good news I guess, but who the hell wants to wait for no news, or bad news, kwim?  They would not issue it ‘urgent’ which costs an extra $70 on top of the $22 passport fee because we have 8 business days until we go (actual days is 12).  So, because they have a weird, sick sense of humour, they are ‘expressing’ it, which means they will get it to us ‘the day before we leave’ (that’s a quote from the agent ), which actually means we’ll get to pick it up the morning of the 8th of February, because that is the last ‘business day’ before we leave.  Oh. my. cod.  Nothing like leaving it til the last day huh.

But, at least it’s coming, it’s on its way and we will all be heading to Mexico in 12 days.  Ah, sandy beaches, beautiful ocean, sunburns and 5 hour flights … yippeee!!!

It’s here, it’s here, it’s here!!

I am so giddy I almost can’t type.  That could also be due to the extreme temps we’re having of -31°C (-23°F) with a windchill of -47°C (-54°F).  My hands don’t really work because they are so cold.

No, I’m not giddy because it’s cold, I’m beyond excited because his birth certificate came into the social worker’s office today ….. WOOHOOO!!  Ok, I know I shouldn’t get too excited considering we still have to get a passport, but this is just over and above our prayers.  I was just praying that his name change would come in, but the birth certificate was such a  shock!  I told the admin that phoned me that she absolutely made my day, and she giggled.

I’m a little choked though, not horribly, but more like inconvenienced to the max (oh man, am I from the 80s or what).  As you can see above, my area is very cold.  Dh even drove the kids to school this morning, while that’s not odd for other people, it is when you live 5 doors down from the school.  It was scary cold this morning.  I even considered keeping the girls home, but dh offered to drive them.

He was supposed to come home early to pick them up, but now he’s not, and he also told me he wouldn’t be able to pick up the birth certificate or apply for the passport either.  So guess who gets to traipse all over the place with a 4½ month old in this weather.  Yeah, not hard to figure out, I know.

I’m hoping to get my mom to babysit for him while I try and get his passport going.  He is missing only one thing, and that is the updated letter from the CPS director of our area to say he can travel with us.

I can’t wait, my son is going to Mexico with us!!

I hope dh isn’t deterred for the next adoption by this mess

We’ve been on one helluva ride lately. The stress rollercoaster hasn’t stopped, but I want to get off.

We still don’t have Sweet Pea’s birth certificate or passport, and we leave for Mexico in 2 ½ weeks. Yes, we leave in 18 days and I have nothing but his passport picture accomplished. Not through any fault of my own, I’m not that much of a procrastinator. No, it’s my damn government that can’t get their finger out of their butts long enough to get things processed.

On October 31st, we requested from Sweet Pea’s social worker that we start on the paperwork to get us his birth certificate as well as the letter stating we could take him out of the country. Because we’re in the limbo period of the adoption, these steps must be taken as he hasn’t been formally adopted through the courts yet; placed yes, but final adoption order no. The letter was received on November 6th.

By mid December, I was getting a little nervous and called our SW. She said that it hadn’t come in yet, but she’ll phone the registration office. After phone calls and pleas, and no answers from them, she received a copy of the registration of birth, not the birth certificate. There was no explanation for why this was done, but it was. So she tried again at the beginning of January. At this point SW was getting panicky like I was and requested a rush. A rush was not put on it and she didn’t find out until yesterday that they will not accept the request because a first name was not given (he was not given a first name at birth so registration was supposed to be under “Baby boy”). They are refusing to issue one until a name is changed. This takes a completely separate application.

SW called yesterday to inform me of these happenings and has promised me that she will be phoning starting tomorrow on a daily basis to find out the status of the name change application. I just want to cry. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, so I shouldn’t fret, but I can’t help it. Not only will we not be able to take Sweet Pea if this paperwork doesn’t come through, but dh will have to stay home with him, miss work in the mean time (or bring him – not a fun or completely feasible option) and it’ll ruin all of our holidays, not just the entire time, but I mean everyone’s holidays as we will be so sad that he won’t be there. Dh said he may try to bring him anyway, I don’t know if he should but he wants to try. Could you imagine standing at the airport without a passport for an infant and them letting him go through? I doubt it.

We are praying daily that something goes right. We need this application to go through quickly (the name change) and thankfully a rush was actually put on it, and then we’ll need to get a birth certificate rushed (whilst double and triple checking that the bastards actually do it) and then rush a passport. The cost is astronomical really. Luckily the SW office is covering the cost of the birth certificates, and will be applying to reimburse us for the rushed passport cost. What’s freakin ironic and idiotic at the same time is that the registration office is actually invoicing my SW for the 2 birth certificates …. the 2 she did not receive. Of course they won’t pay it, but what idiots.

I can only pray, pray, pray that something comes through quickly.

PMS Sucks with a capital ‘S’

Women around the world know it sucks, men think they know, but they’re too stupid and listen to too many ‘jokes’ about it …. oh, my bad .

Little things get to me at the best of times, but while I’m pms’ing, or just ms’ing, it can be quite amusing in my own mind later (if a man were to laugh in the midst of my ms’ing, it’d be deadly). Just this morning, I was seriously revolted when dh touched my arm in the middle of the night, absolutely revolted.

Also this morning, we somehow got onto the topic of suicide (don’t ask how) and of course this is mentioned right in front of the girls. Shit. Yeah, of course when you think they aren’t listening, they come up with the question, ‘why would someone want to kill themselves?’ Oy. My theory with kids is give them the truth, but pay attention to them, they will subtly let you know when the information is getting to be too much. I’m onto that with our kids, but dh being a man, is completely oblivious. So he goes, on and on and on and on, see where this is going? Yeah, and on. So I quietly mention that it’s probably enough, and he gets snippy with me. I reply with a ‘wanna fight, I’m all for it’ kinda thing, after all, pms may make us pissy, but utterly witty too . *snort*

Before the girls go to school we try and say a short prayer for a good day. Well today of all days, dh sneaks downstairs and prays with them by himself. Duckass.

Then to top it off, my little man, my Sweet Pea is being a PITA today. Up at 6:20, a very odd hour for him, and he’s been pissy ever since, and when he gets pissy, it’s not like other babies. He doesn’t cry, he doesn’t whine, he does this high pitch squeal that seriously hurts my ears. Normal days is fine, ms’ing days, not so fine. Ouch.

Capital ‘S’ my friends, capital ‘S’ sucks.

I’m ready to go again

We spent a most glorious day with a family we just adore.  They are the sweetest people, have 6 boys, a huge house on a beautiful acreage that backs onto a pond.  We spent the afternoon having brunch together, skating and having great discussions.

One of which that is always brought up among those that know about how we got Sweet Pea, is adoption.  It never fails to come up with the people we enjoy being with.  This time however was quite different.  This time, the wonderful people that they are didn’t try to pry out of us details of his mother.

I know people don’t mean anything by it, but there are some details of his adoption that should be told to him first, not have the entire world know about it before he does, so we’ve chosen (or well I have, dh tends to be a blabber mouth) to keep certain things private.  We get the odd question that throws us off a bit, but isn’t really rude, just curious; like “why did she give him up?”.  I can’t say I have an answer for that one.  We have what the social worker wrote down when interviewing her, but we have no idea what was going through her mind.

So this wonderful family just asked some great questions, and of course the topic came up if we were done.  I am SO not.  I want 8 total.  Yep, me, the impatient, not-so-great, wild mom I am, wants way more than I initially intended.  Of course I don’t want them all to be infants, in fact I’d be much happier if they were older than 18 months, but I definitely want more.  I didn’t know if I’d be able to convince dh of more than 4 until yesterday.  The dynamics of their family is a bit different in that they are quite well off and we are not, but that wouldn’t have stopped them at all.

I know it’s money and space that would deter dh.  Not that he’s a miser, but he’s very practical when it comes to money and although he made a very good amount of commission last year, it can’t be counted upon to come again this year as things can change in an instant, so we’ve attempted to only live upon his base salary, which isn’t a lot.  The rest has become extra mortgage payments to pay down our house faster or invest as we lost a bunch in RRSPs before and need to start thinking of that.

I think another thing that stops dh is the idea of being 65 with kids still at home.  We are still quite young, early 30s, so I don’t see it as an issue at all as my kids are not staying at home until their 30, but dh worries about that kind of stuff.  It’s in his nature to do so.

I’ve also been wondering about Sweet Pea’s birth mom lately.  I’m wondering how she is doing, what is on her mind, if she thinks of him, if she misses him, if she knows he’s gone to a good home or what.  In some ways I wish it was an open adoption so that she can know what has happened to him.  I find myself thinking of her during the day, not obsessing or anything, but wondering if she’s okay.  It must’ve been very hard on her, so I do wish her the best.  I hope she can come to terms with giving him up and change her mind in the future about seeing him again.

I figure within the next few days, dh and I will talk again about adopting another one.

It was the dead arm’s fault

I’ve been avoiding posting here due to the normal after Christmas let-down, but also because of my dead arm.

I’ve been having issues, let’s use that term; “issues”.  When I hold Sweet Pea for a long period of time, say over 15 minutes, I start to get really sore joints, pulled muscles and a weak and numb arm.  The numbness starts at the finger tips and works it’s way up.  It’s kind of serious, but I can’t see what any dr. is going to do.  It’s not just one arm, and the same thing happens to my legs if I hold him there (cross legged with him sitting in the gap).  I seriously think it’s a ‘fat person’ thing, but I digress.

Friday, I had a wonderful day, he was fantastic as we went on an outing with Gramma.  We had lunch and then went shopping.  Stupid me wasn’t thinking and didn’t bring his stroller or a sling of any type so I had to hold him.  I thought I was doing really good as my arm didn’t get numb the whole time we were in the store.  He fell asleep in my arms, which was excellent (he doesn’t often do that) and after about 45 minutes in the store, we left.  I walked back to the van and went to put him in his car seat and realized I really did have a bad arm.  It was severely painful, numb & weak immediately after I laid him in his seat.  Not a good thing, but I’ve lived with it before.

Later that night at home, he was having a conniption on the floor as he wanted to sleep in his bed instead of on the floor.  Unfortunately I’ve trained him like that, but if I put him in his bed, he would’ve slept too long and then been up too late.  So I let him cry for a bit, and then when I couldn’t stand it anymore I scooped him up in my football hold, not even paying attention to the throbbing numbness in my arms and ran up the stairs.  I was doing stairs on the fly to get him to his room where I was sure he’d crash immediately.  Well, crash he did, down 2 steps and onto our laminate flooring because my very weak arm released him on the fly.  I was sick and shaking and crying all at the same time.  He fell about 5 feet down, and about 2 feet back because I was doing the run and my arm let go on the back swing.  2 minutes after I scooped his screaming body up, dh pulled into the driveway and came inside.  I was in a panic too.  How would it look to a dr’s office that a mom would come in with an injured child, would they believe my dead arm did it?

He’s fine, not even a scratch, no bruising, not even a bump.  He was extremely tired, which scared us a bit as he wouldn’t stay awake.  We were worried about a concussion as I didn’t witness how he landed it happened so fast.

I still get a little teary thinking of it.  The girls didn’t see it luckily or they’d have been a mess too.  They love him so much they’d be heart broken if he was hurt.  Dh told them later because he wanted to prepare them for him being sore.  So the next day, Punk was being Miss information and piped up to my mom & dad that I dropped him.  Wonderful.

He’s still fine, no residual issues for him.  Me however, I’m sure I will be scarred for life.  I am very much more careful about my dead arm, and how long I hold him.  Last night at church I passed him off as often as possible so I didn’t get that dead arm going.  I also bought a baby-holder that faces out that I can wear him everywhere I go.  I will not get a dead arm again.