Oh cod I broke down

I can’t believe I actually broke down, gave in.  I’m one of those people who sees people in bizarre places texting and I tend to laugh at their insanity of being tied to a machine.

Shit.

I’m texting.  I had to upgrade my phone plan anyway because it wasn’t working for me, but I decided to start texting too, so I got a pretty new phone to go with it.

It flips open to a neat little qwerty keyboard and it even matches my blog.

I can’t believe I did this. My plan doesn’t increase by much, only about $6, but the phone itself set me back a few bucks (discounted with contract, but definitely not free).

Oh.my.cod. I’m a teeny bopper at heart.  I was just thinking of what set me off to the texting thing was that my best friend and I are drifting slightly and I want to keep in touch better.  Then of course my mind wandered over to what we are doing together next: we are going next Monday to New Moon and then going out Karaoke’ing after.  Goodness I’m regressing.  The 34 y/o outside is rebelling and allowing the 13 y/o inside to shine.

I promise this is the last young thing I try to do … well, that is until Eclipse comes out.

Changes again

I’m sure regulars are used to me changing things up occasionally so of course today is no exception.  I get bored of colours fairly easily and that last theme bored me quicker than most have (Ocadia if you were wondering).  This one has a little punch and two columns rather than one is better for me.  I don’t like people having to scroll too much to see the stuff I’ve put up.

I’m distracted … I’ll post something else later.

We’re heading back

Tickets are booked, vacation is planned, ticker is up on the right of my blog, and dh is doing the passport thing tomorrow morning for three of us.

I’m just so friggin’ thrilled.  I was panicking a bit because Elijah just wasn’t cooperating with the whole passport picture thing.  Passports are vital, especially for travelling with a flock of kids.  But after my first attempt at getting a 2 y/o’s passport photo, I really had no high hopes at booking those flights any time soon.  Of course that first attempt sparked a very vivid, very spouty blog post in which I scared poor Rachel of Once Upon a Miracle into thinking I was bad mouthing her.

I really was thinking that the vacay wasn’t going to happen.  Another attempt to get said photo turned out almost as disastrous.  Tears and gnashing of teeth … okay, just mine … made me certain we weren’t going anywhere warm and beachy.

Then the little shit … *ahem* schnookums gets fed a butt-load of fries, a cookie and sits pretty, absolutely still, for his photo.  Third time’s a charm.  I can’t tell you what a relief it was.  I swear I almost started to cry right there in that photo place (I’m not admitting where I went since I actually supposedly stopped shopping there 2 months ago ).  I have no words to describe the let-down I felt in my heart that the most difficult part was over.

Sheesh, I say that and we still have to renew his passport.  I’m going to jinx it.

Travelling with an adopted child, we have a big more paperwork to carry this time around because we have to have his adoption order with us to prove he’s ours and that it’s okay for his name to change on his passport.  A bit of a hassle, but starting this procedure with 3 months left to go is a fantastic idea if I do say so myself.

The tickets are booked (thanks mom’s travel guy!), ideas are flowing and I can hear the surf in my mind already.  Mom’s place is a block off the ocean at San José Del Cabo at the tip of the Baja.  Awesome little place, and lucky for us we can snag the apartment/condo above theirs because it belongs to their neighbour.

We fly down on the 25th of February to meet his parents for a week.  Yes, I mean it, I’m going to vacation with his parents for a week.  It’ll be okay because we’ll have a place to ourselves and I can run away to the beach if I need time away, which will undoubtedly happen.

Then, they fly out on the 4th of March, which is the same day my parents fly in with my Gramma.  Getting confused yet? Ok.  My parents own the condo. His parents rent it for a month every year.  We are crashing their holiday in the condo above, and as they leave, my parents’ holiday starts, but they’re also bringing my 86 y/o Gramma with them.  It’ll be freakin’ fantastic.  And then dh will have his moments to run away when he needs it.  Capisce?

Our return flight is on the 11th and we bring Grams home with us so she’s always flying with someone.

Man, this is reading like a stinkin’ itinerary.

Dude, I get to beach it in just over 3 months with a butt-load of family, drinking excellent margaritas, find stunning Mexican crafts, watch amazing flying fish burst from the ocean in droves fleeing from some unseen foe beneath the waves.  I get to experience rip-tide – cautiously from a safe vantage – glittering beaches, dying coral – a bad, I know – thriving reefs and crazy Mexican roads.

It’s going to be a blast, I can’t wait!

A good decision done

*disclaimer* a picture below is of a dead animal, so if you don’t hunt and are wigged out by the visuals, don’t scroll down too far.

Disney is a big deal, not just for kids, but for everyone who gets to go.  We had hummed and hawed over whether we should go or not when we take our trip to Mexico, but it was decided for us.

We book our flights along side my mom and dad through their agent.  Mom gave him the information for the Mexico trip but didn’t know about our ideas for Disney, so he booked the trip already.  He found some great deals, shaved $500 off of our flights and booked us in.  So we’re not going to Disney.

It’s a little bit of a relief actually.  I know that sounds strange, but the idea of a 2 y/o, even my wonderful little calm boy, doesn’t fully appeal to me.  Naps, potty training – yes I believe he’ll take that long to fully get it – and just basically not getting to ride bigger rides would be such a bummer.  That and the fact that we would miss out on some things and never be able to ride any bigger rides together.  That’s part of the fun is seeing your daughter’s face as we tumble down something large and watery, or watching your husband scream like a little girl.

I haven’t had a moment’s peace to write this because we’ve been a bit busy this past weekend.  Then today dh bags his moose.  Holy crapola batman are those ginormous animals.  You don’t truly realize the magnitude of them until you see them up close or try and drag them out of dense brush.  It took us four hours to get that bad boy out.

We had the tenderloin for supper tonight and oh.my.cod moose is delish.  It’s a very mild wild meat, especially compared to deer of our mountains.

Dh is not truly a trophy hunter as he doesn’t just go for the big boys with large antlers.  He goes for what’s legal, ethical and available.  He got a bull moose that is probably only about 3 years old, so his palms were just starting to develop.  The other reason I know he’s not a trophy hunter is because he doesn’t do the pose. You know, especially other hunters out there, the pose that every testosterone filled guy does when he kills something – he holds the head up and grins like an idiot to the camera whilst puffing out his chest.  However, my dh doesn’t really do that unless harassed into it.  So this is what I got of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See?! He wouldn’t sit still, we had a moose to get out of the bush.  4½ hours later and we finally got it out.

Exhausted, and now wondering if I’m going to be forced to share the yummy meat with my family.

Round the table again for #9

As an adoptive mom I search out means of understanding as much as I can about adoption and how it pertains to my family. Years ago when we first started our journey I searched out blogs mostly. Forums are okay, but I found blogs much more personal, and a heckuva lot easier to read.

I found Heather back then and lurked for quite a while and I was, and am, seriously intrigued by open adoption. I’ve always felt that open adoption should be considered.

A while back Heather had a brilliant idea of creating a common area where people can go to read about common questions, misconceptions, ideas about open adoption on her blog using the posts from a multitude of people on all side of the adoption circle. She called it “Open Adoption Roundtable”. We are not in an open adoption, so I hadn’t thought about contributing until Roundtable #8. The topic sparked a need to contribute.

So has this one, Roundtable #9, but not in the way most would think. I’m sure this stems from her being sick and tired of people saying such dumb things about her open adoption, spouting the common misconceptions about them. She asked if we agreed or disagreed with the statements made:

“We have medical histories and can share the information we have about their birth parents with our children now. If they feel a need to initiate contact with their birth families when they are adults, we will fully support them.”

“The decision to have a relationship with her bio family should be hers when she is ready. Creating a relationship between them before she wants it might cause issues in the future.”

“Children deserve to have just one family during childhood and not to deal with anything adoption-related until they are more mature. A fully open adoption robs a child of a normal childhood.”

I am going to admit things on here that I’m sure not many would agree with, but I don’t care. My blog, my rules.

I agree with the statements.

Don’t get all up in my grill, and I really, really love that I finally got to say that, and I must admit it sounds as dumb aloud as it does seeing it written down. I feel the need to explain why such backward thinking is something I agree with.

I do have to say that the wording of the statements make it easy for us in the adoption world to just pounce all over them. “Children deserve one family”, “open adoption robs …”, just the terms alone make one want to jump in defense of the big ol’ open-adoption band wagon and defy those that would dare to think that way. I’ve never really been a band-wagon jumper.

The first paragraph says nothing about open adoption out right, but has a sly, underneath feeling that open adoption isn’t in the best interests at the moment. To me it doesn’t say anything negative about open adoption in general, just open adoption for that person. I have to agree with the first paragraph because that is exactly where I’m at. Elijah’s birth mom wanted no contact, so our adoption is closed, and when he is ready, as an adult, to make the decision to contact her, we will fully support her, and the law backs that up.

The next two statements aren’t difficult to interpret, but I see it so much differently than a person in the midst of an open adoption. The second one says that a “relationship with her bio family should be hers when she is ready”. Oh hell yeah it should be, but it’s not. A child of two years old cannot possibly make that decision, and shouldn’t be made to, so we do the best we can to decide for them. A child of thirteen has a better idea of whether an open adoption is reasonable for her. Lots of things in this world “should be”. I should be thinner, I should be more tolerant, my husband should get his ass in gear and finish hunting. Should, should, should. That’s the key word, ’should’.

I do not look down upon those that have decided against open adoption as it is more than just the best interest of the child at stake. I’m sure a lot of people will disagree, but the adoption itself isn’t solely a single individual’s life experience. There are a mass of people surrounding the child that are affected on a daily basis by his or her presence, so you cannot tell me that a serious decision like this should only consider the needs of the child and the child alone and ignore the persons that will surround him in his daily life for years to come.

The last statement is what inspired me to write in the first place. It is so profound to me that I’m going to copy it down here:

“Children deserve to have just one family during childhood and not to deal with anything adoption-related until they are more mature. A fully open adoption robs a child of a normal childhood.”

Oh boy that’s a loaded statement isn’t it? Of course children deserve to only have one family. Wouldn’t life be easier if a child’s birth family could easily take care of him? Wouldn’t he be better off if his first mom was able to take care of him? Of course! We would love for it to be all right to just let them be, not have to worry about adoption and what it means for them, and why it truly does single them out. We cannot kid ourselves that open adoption is the perfect means of raising an adopted child, it isn’t. But we do what we can don’t we?

“A fully open adoption robs a child of a normal childhood”. I know adoptive moms/dads everywhere are seething that I’m agreeing with this. My child, as an adopted child, will not have what is known as a ‘normal’ childhood where he was born of my womb. He won’t, it’s a fact, and he will always be adopted, that will never change. He truly was robbed of a normal life by being adopted. Being adopted in itself removes the chances of being like every other kid around him, it will separate him from the masses. Having a fully open adoption does change what normal is for him/her.

But, a closed adoption also robs a child of a normal childhood. Good God we can’t seriously believe that once a child is adopted, things will run smoothly, they will never have to fret about anything because they are in a ’such-and-such’ adoption and they will feel absolutely perfect for the rest of their lives because of it. Oh hell no, open or closed, it requires stepping out of any comfort zone, removing your blinders of your own perceptions and realizing that one size will never fit all.

Open adoption is not for everyone, just like closed adoption isn’t for everyone. Our next adoption is likely to be a child who has been removed from the home, am I likely to jump up and down and insist on open-adoption? No. But if there comes a time when open-adoption is for us, I’ll be the first one to jump right on that wagon and say giddy-up.

Sheesh, I’m sure Heather is never going to allow an open mic type scenario again. If I promise to trip on the way down off of my soapbox, maybe she’ll allow me to come back.

Do you have anything to say?

Yes, of course, that’s why I have a freakin’ blog. Nice title duckass.

*ahem* sorry ’bout that.

I’m actually doing this mostly to see if my crossposting works, but also I have to vomit my thoughts about our next trip.

My parents own a condo in San José del Cabo in Mexico, a beautiful apartment a short block from the ocean. With this serious perk to being their only daughter, I get free room and board and because they adore my kids, they pay for their flights to go down. How can we possibly say no to that?

I have a cheap husband, that’s how. He is the thriftiest person, next to his mom, and micro-manages money right down to the penny. He knows we have awesome access to cheap vacations, but still manages to put off actually paying for it.

Then he comes home with a whopper and screws up my whole ideal of him. Bugger.

Yesterday he walks in the door with a shit-eating grin spread across his face. He then asks what I would think about hitting Disneyland on the way to Mexico next spring. After I picked my jaw up off of the floor, I jumped on it of course.

I’m the kind of laid back, relaxed person when it comes to money. It is just money and I wasn’t put on earth to make sure future generations of mine have a ton of it. I’m spending it while I’m here. So I was laughing inside at him when he was crunching the numbers with me, because I don’t care about money enough to crunch numbers. It’s true I’m desperate to gain some in order to buy land in my vicinity, but not -I’m-going-to-prostitute-my-way-to-richness desperate.

So it seems we’re likely headed to Disneyland next February. Of course that has put a fire under my ass to get Buddy’s passport going. Ever tried to get a passport for a 2 y/o? Yeah, not an easy chore my friend. And then there’s the packing for 3 weeks for 3 kids thing that I’m not looking forward to.

Disneyland, here I come?

Could you trip and fall please? Thanks, I feel better

Like my title, it didn’t take me much to think it up.

Inside, we want people to fail don’t we.  I want Al Gore to be so wrong in his calculations, I want Angelina to have a small, public tantrum Britney style, and dammit, could you people in my blogosphere please not be so perfect either?

I’ve never had any innate desire to be perfect, it’s not something I strive for.  I have shortcomings and failings like crazy, and the world knows it.  But sometimes I just want other people to be as much of a failure as I am.

Nah, this blog doesn’t stem from something I did, I just keep reading about the accomplishments of others and feeling left behind I guess.

 

Don’t run away screaming

I promise, I’m not as strange as I usually seem here… oh wait, shit I am.  I’m good with that.

I did something yesterday – technically it was this morning in the wee hours – I guest blogged somewhere.  I KNOW!  You’re happy for me, I can tell.

I guest blogged over at Noscere’s world.  I’m sure by now he’s read it and is seriously regretting asking me because I got … well, slightly wordy.  Hey, he opened it up when he asked me to talk about adoption.  At first I thought I’d go on there with my best stats, some neato information, and some wonderful insight.  The poor guy got some of my vomitiest thought vomit ever, but hey, he asked right?

Go on over, check it out.